What do older people turn into when they're bitten by Dracula?

A time traveler walks into a bar.

They have NOT forgotten.

"Get your cuirass out of here!"

Because he would have ryzen

“Joooooooooooooooke.”

Neither have eye

An olive oil change..

A famous soccer player, who shall of course remain nameless, got set up to go on a blind date. After an enjoyable evening, although interspersed with tales of his exploits in various games, the player persuaded the lady to park "to see the moon". After some mutual exploration, with more exploits narrated in between kisses, the footballer took the girl's hand, put it on his head, and asked, "Have you ever felt anything like this?" Confused, she shook her head and said, "No." The player informed her, "This is the head that headed the goal that got us through the quarter finals." He then took her hand and put it on his foot. "Have you ever felt anything like this?" Once again, she shook her head and said, "No." "This is the foot that kicked the goal that got us through the semi-finals." Fed up by now, the girl took his hand, put it between her legs, and asked, "Have you ever felt anything like this?" A bit embarrassed and shamefaced, he replied, "Yes, when I missed the penalty in the final."

Son: Dad, I've been thinking for a while now. How did you get Mom as your wife? Dad: Simple son. You know I'm a very religious guy. I go to the church every week. When I was younger, I would regularly donate a dollar every week, with a silent prayer to get a beautiful, understanding, and loving wife. Son: Figures. That's what you get for a dollar a week.

A young inebriated woman, who for some reason wasn't wearing any clothes, hopped into a taxi and laid down on the back seat. The cab driver, an older gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at her. He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said, "What's wrong with you? Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?" The driver answered, "Let me tell you something. I wasn't staring at you like you think; that would be improper." The drunk woman chuckled and responded, "Well, if you're not staring at my boobs or ass, what are you doing?" The driver paused for a moment, then he said: "Well ma'am, I am thinking to myself, where in the hell is this lady keeping the money to pay the fare?"